Words of Wisdom

Never cry over spilt milk.  It could’ve been whiskey.  ~”Pappy” Maverick, in Maverick

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk.  That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.  ~Ernest Hemingway

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won’t let himself get snotty about it.  ~Raymond Chandler

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.  If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.  Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.  ~Jack Handey

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.  ~Dave Barry

Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector.  It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.  ~Graham Greene

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.  ~W.C. Fields

Beer is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems.  ~Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Benjamin Franklin